Monday, February 9, 2009

paranoia vs. tolerance



When will I ever be good enough?
What an absurd question.

It isn't about good enough, it's about how much you can take. Take all the shit that they give you and don't forget to hold it in (thats the most important part). I caught them pleasuring themselves furiously over my misery. I let it happen. I let it come to this. The warning signs were there and for fucks sake, I thought I was stronger than them. Today I admit defeat and I cry for the loss of my soul. I will become a drifter, a loner. I'll have no one left to trust but myself: the way I should have lived all along.

Who or what are these soul sucking forces, and who bestowed upon them this undeserved power? They are the ones that can hold you back from living, from loving, from being. They come in many shapes, sizes, colors and all forms of matter. The most deceitful are the beautiful ones. The ones that catch your eye, the ones that seem out of place in a mundane existence. BEWARE! TURN BACK! Oh, but come closer!

Maybe I am sensitive and maybe you won't admit that you are, but you are - I know you are.
Maybe things affect me easier than they affect you, but they affect you - I know they do.

You need me to survive and I am cutting the umbilical cord.